Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A Christian Argument Against Parking Lots

Back in the ye goode olde days of the 1970s, Memphis liked to promote itself by saying that it had "more churches than fillin' stations!" It was definite proof of our holiness.

Alas, Memphis has given in to evil! For although we still have more churches than fillin' stations, we definitely have more surface parkin' lots than churches. If we are holy because we put church before gas, it follows that we are unholy because we prefer parkin' to churches. Technically this is called "putting before" and any Memphian can tell you that "putting before" is a clear violation of ... number 1 or number 2, depending on who's counting.

Parkin' on asphalt-covered dirt is Memphis' false idol and until we cast this idolatry from our midst, we will be afflicted with amany pestilences and corruptions and maladies.

Repent, O Memphis! and Remove those Parking Lots!

Build. Walk.
get thee between the yellow lines, Satan

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Anonymous Will said...

"...It follows that we are unholy because we prefer parkin' to churches."

Ask the average teenager which he prefers. I'm guessing he won't vote church.

4:31 PM  

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